


Dearest Rosie

by Winds of Dawn (WoD)



Series: Thinking of Mary [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Episode: s04e01 The Six Thatchers, Gen, Letter, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 14:42:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10336862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoD/pseuds/Winds%20of%20Dawn
Summary: Thank you toTheWhiteLilyfor help in finalizing this piece, and for giving me the idea to try something from Mary's pov.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [TheWhiteLily](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWhiteLily/pseuds/TheWhiteLily) for help in finalizing this piece, and for giving me the idea to try something from Mary's pov.

Dearest Rosie,

If you are reading this, I'm not with you. And I'm so very, very sorry about that.

Whatever happened to take me away from you, please believe me when I say it's not because I don't love you. I do. You are the best thing that's happened to me. The months I spent feeling you grow inside me, and then to finally see you face to face, so small and so perfect -- a tiny person, who will grow up to be -- what? A doctor, like your father? Will you have any artistic talent, any ear for music? Will you be an exuberant tomboy, or a quiet, thoughtful scholar? Will you like playing sports? Which books will be your favorite, which movies? So, so many possibilities. But darling, whatever you are, whatever you choose to be, I will love you, and I wish I am there to see you grow.

But I'm afraid I won't be. 

There are too many things in my past, so many things I've done that I can't run away from, that may come back to get me, to get you. And if the day ever comes when my staying with you puts you in danger, well, I'll do anything to protect you, even if that means I have to leave you.

I know your father will care for you. He loves deeply, and he's so fiercely loyal. He just sometimes -- often -- all the time -- has trouble talking about how he's feeling, what he's thinking. There will be days when you feel like you are banging against a brick wall. But it's not because he doesn't love you, but because he loves too much, feels too deeply. I hope you understand. I hope you see the love he doesn't always say.

I hope you have Sherlock in your life. He and your father really balance each other -- what one lacks, the other supplies. And the good points one has, the other enhances. Sherlock is so good with you now, he's your favorite person --you always perk up so when he shows up. So having them both with you, that is what I hope for. If not, well, I hope you have people other than your father who care for you, look after you, show you the various ways people can be people. Because no two people are the same, but they are all special, and have something different to teach you.

And I'm so sorry I can't be there for you, and I don't know if you can ever forgive me, but I hope at least you'll understand. 

I'm leaving this letter with... I'm not sure who yet. But whoever it is, I'll ask them to give this to you when they think you are ready. And if you want to know the details of why I had to leave, then there are people -- your father, Sherlock, Mycroft Holmes, Inspector Lestrade -- who may be able to explain. I just needed to tell you, in my own words, I love you, I miss you, I wish I was with you.

I hope you are well and happy. I hope you grow up to be whoever you want to be, do whatever you want to do, be proud of who and what you are no matter what other people think. I hope wherever you go in life, you have people to love, and be loved by.

I will do everything I can so that this letter isn't needed. But if you are reading this, I've failed.

I'm sorry. I love you. I love you.

Wherever I may be, I'll always be thinking of you, always.

All my love, 

Mary Watson


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm sorry. I love you. I love you.  
Wherever I may be, I'll always be thinking of you, always.  
All my love,   
Mary Watson_

"Jesus." John said.

Sherlock carefully plied the sheet of paper from John's trembling hands, and laid it flat on the desk. 

Taking a deep, shaky breath, John walked over to the crib to look down at the sleeping Rosie, then walked back to the desk, then kept walking agitatedly to and fro through the room.

"So I suppose you aren't going to tell me what you are thinking, or feeling?"

"Oh, shut up."

Sherlock snapped a picture of the letter with his smartphone, and started uploading it to several storage locations. Hm, maybe he should send a copy to Mycroft, too, for safekeeping....

Behind them, Rosie woke up and started fussing. She'd need a change of nappies, then a bottle.

"Wait a minute, what are you doing? Are you saving that? No. We are going to go get her, right? Rosie's never going to have to read that letter."

"Yes, John, we are," Sherlock replied, switching to the app following Mary's tracker.

He folded and stored the letter in its envelope, and sent a copy to Mycroft, anyway.


End file.
